Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
