Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize