How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
