So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
