Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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