so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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