butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He shit in the fireplace
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize