The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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