I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
