guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
