I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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