I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize