it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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