I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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