My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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