Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize