from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
