these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
