I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
