Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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