This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
