ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
