I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize