they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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