Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
