he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
