Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
