There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
