Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
