my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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