laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
