Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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