I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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