what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
