don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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