haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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