East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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