No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
