therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just want nice things and good sex
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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