yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
