She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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