I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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