How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
