he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
