Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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