sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I got inside last night via doggy door
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
