if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
