Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
They are going to name an STD after you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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