Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
