Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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