i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
