You can't special order awesome
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
