What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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