I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Randomize
