as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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