i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
zippers are such a cool invention
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
