Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
