No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
