i don't like sucking hair
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize