I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
