The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
