Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize